my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
