uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
