Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
