margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
