I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
