HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
