you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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