It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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