you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
