Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
