his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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