At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
