Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
