Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
