he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
