You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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