New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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