I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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