She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
