i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
