I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
