I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
