I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
