Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
