We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
