everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
