WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
