Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
