Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
