I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
