Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
