I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
