i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
