I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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