I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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