Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
