If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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