just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
