We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
