People with herpes should wear stickers.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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