Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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