no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
be right there i have to get my cape
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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