When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
When are your genitals available?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize