we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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