There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
