my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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