don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
