you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
