Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
