The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize
