I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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