Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
