im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
