TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she smelled like a LAN party
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
