There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
