omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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