My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
