It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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