Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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