Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
